Stop thinking about your Ex! Breaking Free from the Mental Loop

In this article, we look at why your brain keeps thinking about your ex, how to stop ruminating about an ex, and a short exercise that can help.

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The Blog

The Blog

5 Signs of a Healthy, Securely Attached Relationship

In this post, we explore five key signs of a healthy securely attached relationship.

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The Blog

The Blog

Can You Change Your Attachment Style?

It may come as a relief to know that yes, you can absolutely change your attachment style. Unlike personality, attachment style is fluid: it changes for the better or for the worse depending on your relationships

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The Blog

The Blog

4 Strategies for Coping With Anxious Attachment Styles While Dating

Struggling with an anxious attachment style while dating? Here are four practical strategies to help you better cope with your anxiety and build healthier relationships.

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The Blog

The Blog

How Do I Stop Dating Unavailable People (Men)?

Do you find yourself, time after time, dating people who just aren’t that into you? Here are 3 things you can do right now to put a stop to it.

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The Blog

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Tips for Relationships

What People Are Not Talking About Around Consent

  The conversation about consent has reached a fever pitch and is getting some well-deserved attention that allows us to look more closely at how we approach sex in dating and beyond. But there’s still something missing; something that I see in my couples counseling practice more often than you would believe: There’s no conversation […]

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Tips for Relationships

Avoid This Mistake Made by Most Divorced Couples

  Pitching the idea of going to couples counseling to your partner is uncomfortable, to be sure, maybe even scary. It can be difficult to address getting counseling because, once the fight is over, you don’t want to rock the precarious boat that finally feels somewhat okay. Maybe you don’t think couples counseling will help […]

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Thriving

Is Your Diet Making You Depressed? How Food Helps Dictate Your Wellbeing

  Do you have a sense of how your diet and exercise contribute to your wellbeing and mood? Many of the clients that I see complaining of anxiety, depression, lethargy, or sleeplessness are surprised when I ask about their food and caffeine intake. It’s not that they don’t care what goes into their body, but […]

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Political Correctness

Feel Like You’re Walking on Eggshells to Be Politically Correct? Try This Instead

I had a revelation a few days ago, about a conversation I’ve seen happening online and in person where someone asks for a little more sensitivity around an issue like racism or sexism, and the other party says, “I don’t think so. I don’t want to have to walk on eggshells.” Understandable. We all want […]

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Tips for Relationships

Assuming The Best Of Your Partner

When your partner is really making you angry, do you assume they want to upset you?

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Attachment

5 Ways To Help Avoidant Attachment and Create Security Now

5 Ways To Help Avoidant Attachment and Create Security Now Knowing your attachment style, or how you relate to the people you love, can be incredibly helpful in romantic relationships. Attachment styles reflect how we were parented, and as most parents are fallible, our attachment styles aren’t always secure. Knowing your attachment style can help […]

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Attachment

Your Guide to knowing everything about Anxious Attachment and how to Heal it.

Are You Anxiously Attached? Here are some ways to know if you have an anxious attachment style.

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Tips for Relationships

Are You An Avoidant Attacher?

See if any of these scenarios feel familiar to you:   You’re arguing with your partner and start to feel overwhelmed. Even though they’re asking you to stay, you need to get out of there. You leave and ignore your partner’s calls for several days.   Your partner wants to snuggle up with you on […]

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Tips for Relationships

Why Taking Space Isn’t the Only Option For Cooling Off During a Fight

Many couples think that the best way to get through a conflict is to take space from each other to cool off. Unfortunately, taking space isn’t always an option. There are times when you need to make a quick decision, you’re stuck in the car together, or you are at an event where you can’t […]

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Tips for Relationships

It’s Not About the Content

Content versus connection Oftentimes when I’m working with clients, their central concern is a desire to discuss issues about work, money, children, or their sex life: aka content What couples often don’t understand is that it is very difficult to talk about any kind of content if you are not connected to each other. Trying […]

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Relationship issues

How Curiosity can Save Your Relationship

When your relationship is in strife it can feel like the world is falling apart.  We can feel even more alone, hopeless and seperate than when we are single.   However, when relationships are going well they can be the thing that bolster our lives and help us be our greatest selves. The Dynamic: There is […]

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Thriving

But Can You Be Your Own Best Friend?

Sure you can Complete the hardest problem In the book And answer The trickiest equation. But can you Sit with yourself When you don’t  Know the answer And love Your own company? Sure you can Finish all Of your business Faster Than the average Jo. But can you Feel the awkwardness Between you an another When […]

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Transforming Hopelessness

On Getting Fired

Getting fired is a lot like going through a breakup.  It can be devastating, relieving, shocking, really difficult, surprisingly easy or all of the above.  It shakes your stability and your routine. If getting fired from your job is in the devastating category, here are a few tips: 1) Remember that getting fired is like […]

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Transforming Hopelessness

5 Ways to Determine You Are Under an Inner Critic Attack

Often when I am working with my clients it is clear that one of the major reasons they are experiencing suffering is because they are having an Inner Critic Attack. This part of the self has lots of names.  Traditionally known as the Super Ego; it also goes by the Judge, the Gatekeeper, the Critical […]

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Life Purpose

20 Questions to Ask Yourself When You are Searching for Your Purpose

Many of my clients come to me unsure about what they want to do with their careers. They do know that they want to make a difference in the world. But they are not sure what they want to do, and how they will support themselves doing that thing. Here are 20 Questions you can […]

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"I was just like you. Struggling & desperate to have a supportive relationship"

I'm Sefora, your new get-a-grip relationship coach.
I have been a transformational leader and coach for over 20 years. I received my Masters in Counseling Psychology at Meridian University, and have over 10,000 hour of training and work with individuals and couples as a therapist. I am a level 2 PACT therapist for couples, trained in how psychobiology affects your relationships and how to create secure attachment. I am also trained in Attachment Focused EMDR. 





About

Transformational Leader, Therapist, Relationship Coach, Attachment Expert & Boss Mom

I studied attachment work for 2 decades both personally and professionally. Changing your attachment style is possible. I'll be honest, it takes grit! But there are things that most people can learn that can improve their attachment in relationships. In my individual sessions and classes I create a safe space for growth and reflection, humor and insight, but not always in that order.

I am a licensed Marriage Family Therapist, #96387