YOU WANT SOMEONE WHO shows up
AND SO done WITH THAT PATTERN
YOU'RE TIRED. A LITTLE bitter, EVEN
MEANWHILE THEY'RE out to lunch (AGAIN)
YOU HOLD THE whole thing TOGETHER
YOU PLAN THE DATES AND remember THE BIRTHDAYS
06
05
04
03
02
01
SOUND familiar?
You know how to love well. Now let's get you loved that well.
Maybe you've decided it's the dating pool.
Or the apps. Or your (very small) town.
Or that this is just how relationships are.
Knowledge was never the missing piece.
So you play it cool.
You give a little more.
You wait a little longer...
The books. The therapy. The retreats.
And STILL, the moment someone takes four hours to text back, you’re doing a full Carrie Bradshaw. (With the group chat consulting, obviously.)
You could teach a weekend workshop on your attachment style...
...and you’re STILL the one carrying it ALL.
You’ve been told you’re too needy, too sensitive, or that you just need to love yourself more.
for the overachievers
YOU'VE DONE all THE WORK
I help people with anxious attachment feel secure in themselves, so they can finally be met, chosen and supported. (Yes, YOU.)
01
Conflict. The slow fade. Needs that keep going unmet. When love gets stressful, your body braces (and you start doing EVERYTHING). Here you learn to come back to calm on your own, so you can think, feel and choose clearly... even mid argument. (That's the nervous system shift.)
HOW YOU HANDLE stress IN LOVE
HOW YOU SEE WHAT’S possible
Old hurt shapes what you think is possible in love. A slow reply reads like rejection, and steady can feel unfamiliar at first. We clean the filter, so you can see people clearly, spot the ones with real capacity to meet you... and stop confusing chaos for chemistry. (That’s the filter shift.)
WHAT YOU do
You learned to over work and over give to keep love close. That strategy got you this far, and it's done its job. Here you practice asking, receiving and letting love in. (That's the behavior shift.)
03
03
You learned to over work and over give to keep love close. That strategy got you this far, and it's done its job. Here you practice asking, receiving and letting love in. (That's the behavior shift.)
WHAT YOU do
02
02
Old hurt shapes what you think is possible in love. A slow reply reads like rejection, and steady can feel unfamiliar at first. We clean the filter, so you can see people clearly, spot the ones with real capacity to meet you... and stop confusing chaos for chemistry. (That’s the filter shift.)
HOW YOU SEE WHAT’S possible
HOW YOU HANDLE stress IN LOVE
Conflict. The slow fade. Needs that keep going unmet. When love gets stressful, your body braces (and you start doing EVERYTHING). Here you learn to come back to calm on your own, so you can think, feel and choose clearly... even mid argument. (That's the nervous system shift.)
01
here's the good news
THREE SHIFTS TO SECURE
Your nervous system learned that love takes hard work and constant effort. That's VERY fixable. It happens in three shifts.
They asked about the date. You talked about the hike.
Thursday hike crew · 4 people
Jess
still on for 9am? I'm bringing the good snacks
YES. I'll drive
Mo
wait wait. how's the new person going??
honestly? really good. easy. anyway, which trail??
Jess
look at you!!
And love becomes one good part of a very full life.
Your phone stays in your bag at dinner with friends. (On purpose.)
Conflict feels like a conversation you get through together.
You finally take the pottery class. Or the trip. Or the nap.
They plan the next date (and text back) without you having to ask.
WHEN LOVE FEELS secure...
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, attachment coach and attachment based EMDR therapist. I blend attachment science, couples counseling and EMDR, so love can finally feel STEADY.
“
I’m currently dating an amazing guy and I can’t imagine anything better!
I’ve never felt this confident in spotting secure partners and setting clear standards before.
Esther, Spain
PR, Oakland, CA
“
The biggest thing I got was learning how to re-source myself and be emotionally healthy/independent.
Noeline
kind words
done doing it all
→
←
PR, Oakland, CA
I’ve never felt this confident in spotting secure partners and setting clear standards before.
“
Noeline
The biggest thing I got was learning how to re-source myself and be emotionally healthy/independent.
“
Esther, Spain
I’m currently dating an amazing guy and I can’t imagine anything better!
kind words
done doing it all
there,
I'M SEFORA
15,000+ HOURS
LICENSED MFT
MA, COUNSELING PSYCHOLOGY
Hey there, I'M
SEFORA
MA, COUNSELING PSYCHOLOGY · LICENSED MFT · 15,000+ HOURS
In an era of psychobabble and pop psychology on social media, I bring 15,000+ hours in the room with couples and 24 years in the personal growth world. I’ve also lived the anxious pattern myself, for two decades (episode 13 has the whole story). So I know what it takes to go from over giving to finally being met.
There are a lot of people sharing about attachment styles these days. You may even have a dusty copy of "Attached" sitting on your shelf. How is this different?
episode 13: How I shifted 2 decades of anxious-avoidant patterns
Reclaiming Parts of Yourself From Others
(Healing from Breakups and beyond)
episode 15: Who can you trust to help you with attachment work?
Trending episodes
Weekly conversations to ground you in the goodness all around you, so when the hard stuff happens in love, you meet it with wisdom, resilience and grace.
Who Do You Trust to Help You with Attachment Work?
healing
5 Signs of a Healthy, Securely Attached Relationship
secure attachment
5 Ways to Help Anxious Attachment and Love More Securely
Reclaim Your Power From Your Ex
Mindset
Are you looking for help with your Anxious Attachment? The good news is that your attachment style can change. Get ready to learn some secrets to become more securely attached.
