Stop thinking about your Ex! Breaking Free from the Mental Loop

In this article, we look at why your brain keeps thinking about your ex, how to stop ruminating about an ex, and a short exercise that can help.

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The Blog

The Blog

5 Signs of a Healthy, Securely Attached Relationship

In this post, we explore five key signs of a healthy securely attached relationship.

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The Blog

The Blog

Can You Change Your Attachment Style?

It may come as a relief to know that yes, you can absolutely change your attachment style. Unlike personality, attachment style is fluid: it changes for the better or for the worse depending on your relationships

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The Blog

The Blog

4 Strategies for Coping With Anxious Attachment Styles While Dating

Struggling with an anxious attachment style while dating? Here are four practical strategies to help you better cope with your anxiety and build healthier relationships.

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The Blog

The Blog

How Do I Stop Dating Unavailable People (Men)?

Do you find yourself, time after time, dating people who just aren’t that into you? Here are 3 things you can do right now to put a stop to it.

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The Blog

The Blog

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Attachment

5 Ways to Help Anxious Attachment and Love More Securely

Are you looking for help with your Anxious Attachment? The good news is that your attachment style can change. Get ready to learn some secrets to become more securely attached.

anxious attachment in relationship
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Thriving

Permission to Enjoy Yourself: A Radical Act of Resourcing

Hey there, I want to take a moment to talk about something that’s been on my heart: the idea of permission to enjoy yourself. It’s so easy to get caught up in the daily grind—stress about work, the state of the world, or even what might happen years from now. Many of us carry beliefs […]

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Attachment

Who Do You Trust to Help You with Attachment Work?

When it comes to personal growth, especially around attachment and relationships, one crucial question is: Who do you trust to guide you through the process? Whether you’re considering a therapist or a coach, making the right choice can significantly impact your progress and transformation. Let’s dive into what to look for when finding someone to […]

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Dating advice

Life is Greater Than You Think: Finding Joy in the Present While Pursuing Your Goals

For many, envisioning a dream relationship can bring up feelings of sadness, frustration, or even hopelessness. Imagining the love you desire might make your current reality feel inadequate, or it may remind you of the times you’ve felt let down or rejected. These emotions can make it tempting to avoid the vision altogether, convincing yourself […]

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Attachment

How I Broke Two Decades of Anxious-Avoidant Patterns and Finally Created Secure, Mature Love.

When it comes to love and relationships, my path has been anything but straightforward. For over two decades, I found myself stuck in a pattern of dating emotionally unavailable men—men who couldn’t commit, who were “in a dating phase,” or who lived far away. No matter what I did, I kept recreating this dynamic, and […]

going from anxious to secure
Anxious Attachment and Avoidant Attachment Relationships: Understanding the Challenges
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Attachment

Anxious Attachment and Avoidant Attachment Relationships: Understanding the Challenges

When an anxious attachment style meets an avoidant attachment style, the result can feel like an emotional tug-of-war. One partner reaches for closeness while the other withdraws, leaving both feeling misunderstood and unsatisfied. It’s a dynamic that can stir up frustration, hurt, and confusion—but it’s also one that makes a lot of sense when you peel back the layers.

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Attachment

Can Avoidant and Anxious Attachment Work?

If you find yourself in a push-pull relationship where one person is anxiously attached and the other is avoidant, you might be wondering, “Can this relationship work?” Short answer, Yes.

anxiously attached and avoidantly attached relationship
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Attachment

4 tips to Resource Yourself for the Holidays

How to Make the Holidays Supportive and Joyful Okay, so this week, I have some tips on how to manage the holidays. How to set yourself up so that the holidays can be resourcing for you, supportive for you—whether you’re single or in a relationship. This post is here to support you in letting this […]

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Attachment

The Power of Attachment Healing In Relationships

Unlocking the Power of Attachment Work: Transform Your Relationships and Life Hey there! This is Sefora Janel Ray, and welcome to the Resource Yourself —the place where you can find support to resource your biggest, brightest, and wisest self. So today, I want to talk about what’s so powerful about working on your attachment style […]

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Attachment

Navigating Heartbreak: Finding Hope Through Loss and Staying Grounded in Love

Let’s talk about resourcing yourself through heartbreak: What to look out for, how to ground yourself in love, and how to keep moving forward.

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Attachment

Spring Planting for Secure Attachment Part 1

Its spring and we’re taking steps to foster secure attachment. This is Part 1: Planting belief in creating secure relationships.

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Attachment

Spring Cleaning for Healthy Attachment in Relationships

Here are 4 ways to do spring cleaning in your relationships and support healthy attachment

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Attachment

Are You Too Picky? Or is it Your Attachment Style?

Let’s say for a moment that you have decided you are ready to date, and find a partner that meets you in all the deepest ways, to create the love you know you deserve. And lets just say that you have done a ton of work on yourself already. You consider yourself to be a […]

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Attachment

The Damaging Effects of People Pleasing on Relationships

In this article, we will explore five significant ways in which people pleasing can ruin the very connections we value. From crossing our own boundaries to compromising our emotional well-being, it’s essential to understand the detrimental impact of this behavior.

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Relationship issues

A Story Illustrating How Attachment Wounds Limit Our Ability to Receive

What if you knew that support was available to you all the time?  Anytime you needed it? And what if you knew that even the most complicated, nuanced, specific, loving, support was available to you whenever you needed?

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Relationship issues

Stop thinking about your Ex! Breaking Free from the Mental Loop

In this article, we look at why your brain keeps thinking about your ex, how to stop ruminating about an ex, and a short exercise that can help.

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"I was just like you. Struggling & desperate to have a supportive relationship"

I'm Sefora, your new get-a-grip relationship coach.
I have been a transformational leader and coach for over 20 years. I received my Masters in Counseling Psychology at Meridian University, and have over 10,000 hour of training and work with individuals and couples as a therapist. I am a level 2 PACT therapist for couples, trained in how psychobiology affects your relationships and how to create secure attachment. I am also trained in Attachment Focused EMDR. 





About

Transformational Leader, Therapist, Relationship Coach, Attachment Expert & Boss Mom

I studied attachment work for 2 decades both personally and professionally. Changing your attachment style is possible. I'll be honest, it takes grit! But there are things that most people can learn that can improve their attachment in relationships. In my individual sessions and classes I create a safe space for growth and reflection, humor and insight, but not always in that order.

I am a licensed Marriage Family Therapist, #96387