Have you ever felt heartbreak so intense that it seems to shatter your whole world? Many people have been feeling this way, whether it’s due to personal loss, a difficult breakup, or the results of a recent election. It’s a universal experience that connects us all. Recently, I’ve heard from so many people grappling with heartbreak, especially following elections and global conflicts. So, I wanted to share a few thoughts on how we can find support, healing, and resilience through heartbreak. 💔

When Heartbreak Tries to Protect Us

The first thing that often happens when we’re heartbroken is that a protective part of ourselves takes over. It’s almost like our mind is trying to wrap bubble wrap around our hearts to keep us from getting hurt again. 🌱 But in doing so, it can come up with all kinds of sweeping conclusions.

Thoughts like:

• “I’m never going to date again!”
• “I can’t trust anyone anymore.”
• “All men/women are the same.”
• “Everyone in [insert political party] is ignorant.”

These blanket statements might feel comforting for a moment, but they’re actually limiting and unhelpful. Our mind tries to save us from the grief by giving us these globalizing, often negative thoughts. It’s like a knee-jerk reaction to prevent future pain. But these thoughts aren’t true, and they end up closing us off, keeping us stuck, and turning us into people we don’t want to be. If we close ourselves off, we lose the capacity to make meaningful change or connections. Instead, we become bitter and powerless. And that’s not who we are. 🌱

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Why It’s Harmful in Relationships

When it comes to relationships, these generalized beliefs can be especially damaging. For instance, if you decide that “all men are evil” after a breakup, but you’re someone who actually wants a relationship with a man, you’re essentially cutting yourself off from the love you deserve. 💔

It’s the same with the larger world. If you decide that “everyone who thinks differently than me is ignorant or evil,” you cut yourself off from connection, dialogue, and understanding. You create an “us vs. them” mentality that ultimately harms you more than anyone else.

The question is: are these thoughts really true? Are they serving you? 🤔 Probably not. Let’s see if we can find some more empowering, realistic beliefs to guide us through the pain.

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Finding Grounding in Deeper Truths

Here’s a powerful exercise: when you catch yourself making these sweeping decisions, try to find a deeper, more helpful truth. Here are some examples:

• Instead of “I can’t trust anyone,” try: “I need to learn about secure attachment and how to recognize healthy partners.” 💑
• Instead of “People who don’t agree with me are ignorant,” try: “I want to get better at talking to people with different beliefs.”

By coming up with these more constructive beliefs, you’re not only helping yourself heal, but you’re opening yourself up to possibilities. Healing from heartbreak is about staying open, not shutting down. 💪

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Humbling Ourselves to the Heartbreak

Before finding that deeper truth, allow yourself to really feel the heartbreak. Sometimes, the most powerful art, literature, and poetry come from people who were utterly cracked open by heartbreak. 💔 There is something profound and graceful in letting yourself be broken open by your pain. Letting it move through you can actually help you find a deeper part of yourself—a part that loves, cares, and dreams.

If you’re in pain, it’s because there was something you truly loved, something you wanted.

Let yourself fall to your knees in that longing, honoring the love and care that led you here. It’s okay to feel devastated, to feel disappointed, to feel like you’ve lost something meaningful. This pain only shows how deeply you care. 💖

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Honoring Your Brave Heart

If you are feeling heartbreak, it’s a sign that you are brave enough to care. In a world that sometimes feels cynical or indifferent, choosing to care deeply is an act of courage. You are brave to care for justice, to care for the planet, to care for relationships where people show up for each other.

Take a moment to appreciate your tender heart for loving so deeply. This is what makes you human, what makes you powerful. Allow yourself to feel that love, to honor that you are someone who dreams of a better world, of a world where things are just and people are kind. ❤️

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Moving Forward from Heartbreak with Love and Intention

Once you’ve grounded yourself in love, you’ll find that you can begin to take steps toward creating the world you dream of. Whether it’s reaching for a healthier relationship, working toward social justice, or finding peace within, each step becomes an act of love. Your heartbreak doesn’t have to mean the end of your dreams.

It’s a reminder of what you stand for. Of what you care about. And with each step, you’re honoring that love, standing for that vision, and moving toward the world you know is possible. 🌍✨

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In Closing: Heartbreak is Part of Being Alive

If you’re in pain, my dear, it’s because you care so deeply. And that’s a beautiful thing. You’re part of a long line of ancestors who have dreamed of and worked toward a better world. Let this heartbreak be a reminder of your capacity to love, to dream, and to make change.

I’m here, caring right along with you. 💜 So let’s keep moving forward, one step at a time, grounded in love and in our commitment to a better world.

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And if you’re looking for more resources on attachment, healing, or just understanding yourself better, feel free to check out my website or my attachment quiz. We’re all in this journey together, and I’m here to support you. 🌈