When your relationship is in strife it can feel like the world is falling apart. We can feel even more alone, hopeless and seperate than when we are single. However, when relationships are going well they can be the thing that bolster our lives and help us be our greatest selves. The Dynamic: There is a common dynamic that I see over and over again in relationships. It’s where one partner (Let’s call them “the Frustrated One”) starts lecturing or talking to the other partner (Let’s call them “the Impatient Listener”) in a critical and sometimes patronizing tone. It happens all of the [...]
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Getting fired is a lot like going through a breakup. It can be devastating, relieving, shocking, really difficult, surprisingly easy or all of the above. It shakes your stability and your routine. If getting fired from your job is in the devastating category, here are a few tips: 1) Remember that getting fired is like a death. With death comes grieving and a lot of feelings. Grieving typically has 5 stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. You might catch yourself bargaining "If only I had just done this project on time then maybe I wouldn't have lost the job." Or [...]
Often when I am working with my clients it is clear that one of the major reasons they are experiencing suffering is because they are having an Inner Critic Attack. This part of the self has lots of names. Traditionally known as the Super Ego; it also goes by the Judge, the Gatekeeper, the Critical Parent and many other names. In other words, the Inner Critic is a part of the self that is attacking another part of the self. Now, normally we don't walk around experiencing ourselves as having different parts. If we have a fairly healthy ego, we just [...]
Sometimes when I am working with clients they feel hopeless because they have identified that there is something that they don't know how to do. Sometimes this is a capacity that they haven't learned (such as creating boundaries or sharing from their heart). In other cases it is a practical skill that was never taught to them (bookkeeping, scheduling). Sometimes it is just that the future is unknown, and they want it to be known, dependable. Here is a tip that can really relieve a lot of stress: There is great beauty and blessings in not knowing. First of all, [...]
Recently I did a series of interviews with people on the theme of transforming hopelessness. I had the pleasure of interviewing Tad Hargrave (www.marketingforhippies.com). In particular, he had some great things to say about hopelessness as it comes up in business marketing (his specialty). Tad is an amazing resource for conscious business owners who want to market with heart. 1) Can you tell us a little about how you help clients shift out of their hopelessness and back into their power? Hmm. I think there are a few levels. Part of what's needed by most folks is context. They need to [...]
"The doorway To your creation Is your wanting. Desire gave birth To the world. Let yourself want my friend, Each wish is a blessed Treasure. Let yourself want my friend, The Earth longs To hear your Whisper. Let yourself want my friend, For your yearnings Are not too big, Not impossible In the scope of all That is. Let yourself want my friend, I promise it won’t break you But bring you closer To your Greatest Power. " -Sefora Janel Ray Wanting. Desire. Longing. It's crazy how we can sometimes keep ourselves from really feeling what [...]
Hopelessness—it hits most of us, one time or another. Sometimes I feel like most of my clients are trying to convince me that some part of their lives is hopeless. They have all kinds of reasons that they can't have the relationship, the career, the health, the money or the peace that they want. At the same time, a part of them desperately wants to know that it is actually not hopeless after all. It's like a clash of the two movies "Reality Bites" and "Field of Dreams". One part of them is despondent and depressed, and the other part is hoping beyond [...]