When the Light Has Begun, But You Can’t Feel It Yet A reflection on the day after the Solstice, longing, and remembering you’re still in the game Today is the day after the Winter Solstice. Technically, the light has begun to return.The days are now getting longer. And yet… it’s still dark. I’ve always found […]

On Rest, Remembering, and Being Held by Life Today is the Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year in the Northern Hemisphere. It’s the turning point.The moment when the light begins to return, even if we can’t feel it yet. And I want to begin this season not with intention setting, not with fixing, […]

Lately, a lot of people have been reaching out to me with a very similar question. Different stories.Different relationships.Same ache. “How do I break a pattern with someone who hasn’t been showing up for me… even when I know better?” So today, I want to share part of a Dear Abby–style response (shared with permission […]

Let’s be honest: It’s incredibly confusing when someone says they want a relationship, but then acts like they don’t. One minute, they’re sending heart emojis and talking about the future.The next, they’re pulling away, rescheduling plans, or giving you vague one-word answers when you bring up anything real. If you’ve been stuck in that push-pull […]

Discover the SECURE™ Attachment Model—a therapist-designed framework for healing anxious attachment and creating emotionally safe, stable relationships. Learn the six pillars of secure love.

Anxious attachment isn’t about being broken.It’s about being wired for worry in relationships—and learning how to rewire. In fact, my most-read post, 5 Ways to Help Anxious Attachment and Love More Securely, has been read over 230,000 times by people who know how hard it is to feel safe in love. Anxious attachment is a […]

When you picture yourself as securely loved, your nervous system begins to adapt. This article explores how visualization supports attachment healing and helps you embody the version of you who attracts and sustains healthy, lasting love.

Healing attachment means integrating the parts of you you’ve hidden to stay loved. This piece guides you through shadow work—learning to meet your own fear, anger, or neediness with compassion, so your relationships can finally feel safe and real.

If you’ve spent years hypervigilant in love, relaxation can feel foreign. This post explores how pleasure and presence retrain your body for secure attachment—teaching your system that it’s safe to receive, rest, and simply be.

When it comes to personal growth, especially around attachment and relationships, one crucial question is: Who do you trust to guide you through the process? Whether you’re considering a therapist or a coach, making the right choice can significantly impact your progress and transformation. Let’s dive into what to look for when finding someone to […]

For many, envisioning a dream relationship can bring up feelings of sadness, frustration, or even hopelessness. Imagining the love you desire might make your current reality feel inadequate, or it may remind you of the times you’ve felt let down or rejected. These emotions can make it tempting to avoid the vision altogether, convincing yourself […]

When it comes to love and relationships, my path has been anything but straightforward. For over two decades, I found myself stuck in a pattern of dating emotionally unavailable men—men who couldn’t commit, who were “in a dating phase,” or who lived far away. No matter what I did, I kept recreating this dynamic, and […]

When an anxious attachment style meets an avoidant attachment style, the result can feel like an emotional tug-of-war. One partner reaches for closeness while the other withdraws, leaving both feeling misunderstood and unsatisfied. It’s a dynamic that can stir up frustration, hurt, and confusion—but it’s also one that makes a lot of sense when you peel back the layers.

If you find yourself in a push-pull relationship where one person is anxiously attached and the other is avoidant, you might be wondering, “Can this relationship work?” Short answer, Yes.

When gatherings or quiet nights alone stir old attachment wounds, resourcing yourself is essential. This piece shares simple ways to feel grounded, loved, and enough—no matter who shows up or doesn’t.