Love is NOT supposed to feel like anxiety, chasing, and confusion.
If you keep attracting unavailable partners or end up over-giving just to keep love alive, it’s not because you’re broken.
It’s because you were never shown how secure love actually works.
Which is why I specialize in helping people with anxious attachment when you're single —so you can stop repeating painful dating cycles and finally pick partners who are capable of SHOWING UP.
heal attachment \ heal attachment \ heal attachment
reclaim
recieve
recognize
Why this matters:
•Anxious attachment brings bigger emotional ups and downs, while secure people calm faster.
• Small triggers can feel huge and confusing when you are anxious in love.
• Regulation helps you stop spiraling and start trusting yourself.
Regulate
regulate
Calm Your Nervous System
When you’re single with anxious attachment, dating can feel like an emergency — your body reacts before you even know if someone is right for you. That isn’t your fault. Research shows people with anxious attachment have stronger emotional reactions and more trouble calming down compared to secure people.
reclaim
recieve
Recognize
Recognize
Regulate
Spot Secure vs. Unavailable Partners Early
One of the most painful parts of being single with anxious attachment is pouring months or even years into someone who can’t meet you.
Research shows people with anxious attachment often miss the signs of emotional unavailability, or confuse anxiety with chemistry.
Why this matters:
• Anxious attachers often mistake unpredictability for passion. Science shows it lights up the same parts of the brain as addiction.
• You may ignore your own needs because you’re focused on keeping the relationship alive at all costs.
• When you can recognize secure signals, you finally start picking people who are actually capable of giving steady love.
reclaim
recieve
recognize
recieve
regulate
Experience Steady Mutual Love Without Over-Giving
If you are single with anxious attachment, you probably know what it feels like to over-give, overthink, and over-function just to feel wanted.
But love doesn’t have to be earned. Research shows secure couples thrive on consistent, reciprocal care — not push-pull dynamics.
Why this matters:
• Studies show couples who regularly give and receive small daily affection are more satisfied long term.
• Over-giving may feel like the only way to keep someone, but it usually leads to burnout and resentment.
• When you allow yourself to receive, you break the cycle of proving your worth and finally feel chosen for who you are.
reclaim
receive
recognize
regulate
reclaim
Step Into Your Secure Self and Reclaim Love That Lasts
Healing love as a single anxious attacher means learning how to show up for yourself in dating the way secure people do.
Research shows people can shift attachment over time, which not only reduces anxiety but also leads to choosing healthier partners and building stable relationships
Why this matters:
• Attachment is not permanent. Studies show people can move toward security with the right tools and support.
• When you reclaim your secure self, you no longer tolerate inconsistent, confusing relationships.
• Instead of asking “what’s wrong with me,” you finally stand in the truth that you were never broken — you just needed to learn how to connect securely.
- Suzanne
She offers incredible guidance in a safe and supportive space to do this incredibly life changing work. I have benefited incredibly from the work I’ve done with and because of her."
Sefora provides a solid toolkit to work with.
Real stories from people who felt stuck in anxious attachment and found a new way forward
Testimonials
-Naava
along with frustration at not managing things the way I want to. The course materials are excellent and also really good broad ranging and yet right on target for what I need."
- noeline
The biggest thing I got was learning how to re-source myself and be emotionally healthy/independent; enforcing my boundaries more; listening to my intuition more; and learning about securely attached thinking patterns and behaviors."
I thought both Sefora and her program were terrific!
WITHOUT Sefora I would have Fewer strategies and insights, more plodding
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- Jacob
Her courses have been transformative for me.
Sefora’s knowledge and approach to attachment styles is spot on.
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Your Attachment Healing Guide
I’ve spent 15,000+ clinical hours as a couples therapist and attachment coach, guiding people through the exact struggles anxious attachers face every day.
I know what it’s like to feel like love is out of reach — and I know how to help you change that. My frameworks combine attachment science, nervous system regulation, and strategic dating tools to help you create the steady love you’ve always wanted.
FOUNDER OF
resource yourself
Sefora Janel Ray,
LMFT, MA
MEET
SEFORA
If love keeps feeling harder than it should, you don’t need to try harder. You need a clear next step.
Whether you are just starting to explore your patterns or you are ready to shift into secure love, I will show you the exact path forward.
I saw so many of my clients struggling in the same relationship patterns over and over. So I created a roadmap to help folks get where they really want to go: healthy, secure relationships.
YOU'RE IN THE RIGHT PLACE.
Ready to take your relationships to the next level?
I combine 15,000+ hours as a couples therapist with unique frameworks you won’t find anywhere else:
Single and not quite sure what your attachment style is? Start here and save yourself tons of pain by learning about your attachment style!
STEP #1: Take Your Free Attachment Style Quiz
Choose Your Next Step Toward Secure Love
Watch the free training and learn how to break the anxious cycle and call in steady mutual connection.
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