Ongoing couple’s counseling can be incredibly helpful for a relationship. For one thing, we think that our partner should just “know” how to do things the way we want them to. What most people fail to understand is that because we grow up in different environments, it can take practice and work to run a household together. We often need to learn the best ways to speak to our partner about what matters most.
When dealing with a conflict, couple’s often resort to taking space from each other. While taking space can be a good thing from time to time, there is a lot of value in figuring out ways to reconnect when you are together. In Couple’s Counseling, you can learn how to re-establish connection when you are talking about difficult topics.
In some ways, it is a tragedy that we don’t learn more interpersonal skills when we are in school. Many people are terrified of conflict and do everything they can to avoid it. Then when they do fight, couples will have huge explosions that take a long time to recover from. One of the things benefits of Couple’s Counseling is being able to recover more quickly from conflict. It is also possible to have the conflict be an opportunity for growth and for deepening intimacy. You can actually have breakdowns lead to breakthroughs.
Having a long and successful relationship is oftten reliant on being able to empathize with our partner. But sometimes we are frozen with the need to be understood ourselves. We are dying to have our partner listen and relate to our experience. Being able to step out of your experience and empathize with your partner is essential in creating ease for couples.
Working with PACT:
The style of Counseling I work with is called PACT, which stands for a Psycho-biological Approach to Couple’s Therapy. Here is more information about what to expect from a PACT therapist.