Anxiety

Are You Anxiously Attached? Here’s How to Find Out

2018-04-01T02:25:21+00:00

Imagine this scenario: You’re in a disagreement with your partner and things are getting heated. In the middle of the fight, your partner says, “Fine! I’m leaving and going to a friend’s house. I can’t deal with you right now.” How do you feel? If you answered shaky, nervous, abandoned, panicky, or inconsolable, you might be anxiously attached. Attachment styles are the framework of how we relate to being close to and dependent on someone. Usually, we learn how to attach to our loved ones from our primary caregivers when we were children.  Our attachment style is also related to how [...]

Are You Anxiously Attached? Here’s How to Find Out 2018-04-01T02:25:21+00:00

Is Your Diet Making You Depressed? How Food Helps Dictate Your Wellbeing

2018-03-30T08:56:12+00:00

  Do you have a sense of how your diet and exercise contribute to your wellbeing and mood? Many of the clients that I see complaining of anxiety, depression, lethargy, or sleeplessness are surprised when I ask about their food and caffeine intake. It’s not that they don’t care what goes into their body, but oftentimes they’re unaware of how what they eat and drink is affecting their system. A therapist friend of mine was having low level anxiety in the morning that got so bad on BART one day that she had to get off the train and get some [...]

Is Your Diet Making You Depressed? How Food Helps Dictate Your Wellbeing 2018-03-30T08:56:12+00:00

On Getting Fired

2013-06-07T00:10:06+00:00

Getting fired is a lot like going through a breakup.  It can be devastating, relieving, shocking, really difficult, surprisingly easy or all of the above.  It shakes your stability and your routine. If getting fired from your job is in the devastating category, here are a few tips: 1) Remember that getting fired is like a death.  With death comes grieving and a lot of feelings.  Grieving typically has 5 stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.  You might catch yourself bargaining "If only I had just done this project on time then maybe I wouldn't have lost the job."  Or [...]

On Getting Fired 2013-06-07T00:10:06+00:00

5 Ways to Determine You Are Under an Inner Critic Attack

2017-09-07T17:58:42+00:00

Often when I am working with my clients it is clear that one of the major reasons they are experiencing suffering is because they are having an Inner Critic Attack. This part of the self has lots of names.  Traditionally known as the Super Ego; it also goes by the Judge, the Gatekeeper, the Critical Parent and many other names. In other words, the Inner Critic is a part of the self that is attacking another part of the self.  Now, normally we don't walk around experiencing ourselves as having different parts. If we have a fairly healthy ego, we just [...]

5 Ways to Determine You Are Under an Inner Critic Attack 2017-09-07T17:58:42+00:00

Transforming Hopelessness- Tip of the week: Don’t be afraid of what you don’t know

2012-02-08T00:42:33+00:00

Sometimes when I am working with clients they feel hopeless because they have identified that there is something that they don't know how to do.  Sometimes this is a capacity that they haven't learned (such as creating boundaries or sharing from their heart).  In other cases it is a practical skill that was never taught to them (bookkeeping, scheduling).  Sometimes it is just that the future is unknown, and they want it to be known, dependable. Here is a tip that can really relieve a lot of stress: There is great beauty and blessings in not knowing.   First of all, [...]

Transforming Hopelessness- Tip of the week: Don’t be afraid of what you don’t know 2012-02-08T00:42:33+00:00

Transforming Hopelessness #2

2015-06-08T22:38:09+00:00

"The doorway To your creation Is your wanting. Desire gave birth To the world.   Let yourself want my friend, Each wish is a blessed Treasure.   Let yourself want my friend, The Earth longs To hear your Whisper.   Let yourself want my friend, For your yearnings Are not too big, Not impossible In the scope of all That is.   Let yourself want my friend, I promise it won’t break you But bring you closer To your Greatest Power. " -Sefora Janel Ray   Wanting.  Desire.  Longing.  It's crazy how we can sometimes keep ourselves from really feeling what [...]

Transforming Hopelessness #2 2015-06-08T22:38:09+00:00

Carried

2011-08-18T19:44:27+00:00

The eagle soars In circles Just for the pleasure Of the wind Under its body. You too Are carried By the winds of the world. To feel The currents holding you up, Fall Toward your joy.

Carried 2011-08-18T19:44:27+00:00

Transforming Hopelessness #1

2011-08-17T18:27:35+00:00

Hopelessness—it hits most of us, one time or another. Sometimes I feel like most of my clients are trying to convince me that some part of their lives is hopeless.  They have all kinds of reasons that they can't have the relationship, the career, the health, the money or the peace that they want.  At the same time, a part of them desperately wants to know that it is actually not hopeless after all.  It's like a clash of the two movies "Reality Bites" and "Field of Dreams".  One part of them is despondent and depressed, and the other part is hoping beyond [...]

Transforming Hopelessness #1 2011-08-17T18:27:35+00:00

The Dragon’s in Our Lives

2011-08-16T21:28:46+00:00

I love this poem from Rilke: "Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love." I think about it a lot when I am working with my clients.  So often we have strong feelings of pain, jealousy, disgust or rage that seem like awful feelings.  In a way, those feelings are dragons.  They seem gnarly and evil, snarling at us to pay attention to them.  They also feel out of control and like [...]

The Dragon’s in Our Lives 2011-08-16T21:28:46+00:00

Inspiration from Rilke

2011-08-14T06:42:26+00:00

Believe that with your feelings and your work you are taking part in the greatest; the more strongly you cultivate this belief, the more will reality and the world go forth from it. Rainer Maria Rilke

Inspiration from Rilke 2011-08-14T06:42:26+00:00

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