Marriage Counseling

Are You An Avoidant Attacher?

2018-04-13T19:38:54+00:00

See if any of these scenarios feel familiar to you:   You’re arguing with your partner and start to feel overwhelmed. Even though they’re asking you to stay, you need to get out of there. You leave and ignore your partner’s calls for several days.   Your partner wants to snuggle up with you on the couch, but you start to feel annoyed and angry with their clingy and needy behavior.   You seem to be the one who is “logical” in your relationship, and your partner seems to always want to talk about feelings and emotions.   You had an [...]

Are You An Avoidant Attacher? 2018-04-13T19:38:54+00:00

What People Are Not Talking About Around Consent

2018-04-13T19:48:05+00:00

  The conversation about consent has reached a fever pitch and is getting some well-deserved attention that allows us to look more closely at how we approach sex in dating and beyond. But there’s still something missing; something that I see in my couples counseling practice more often than you would believe: There’s no conversation about how extremely difficult it is for people to talk about sex in general. I get it. We’re a society that arose from puritanical values, and sex is an uncomfortable  topic. But I have seen couples who have been together for years, married for decades, and [...]

What People Are Not Talking About Around Consent 2018-04-13T19:48:05+00:00

Avoid This Mistake Made by Most Divorced Couples

2018-04-13T19:34:11+00:00

  Pitching the idea of going to couples counseling to your partner is uncomfortable, to be sure, maybe even scary. It can be difficult to address getting counseling because, once the fight is over, you don’t want to rock the precarious boat that finally feels somewhat okay. Maybe you don’t think couples counseling will help because you can figure it out on your own, without talking to a stranger. Do you think that asking your partner to go to therapy with you means that you’re falling apart? A really common belief is that a couple shouldn’t go to counseling until something [...]

Avoid This Mistake Made by Most Divorced Couples 2018-04-13T19:34:11+00:00

Are You Anxiously Attached? Here’s How to Find Out

2018-04-01T02:25:21+00:00

Imagine this scenario: You’re in a disagreement with your partner and things are getting heated. In the middle of the fight, your partner says, “Fine! I’m leaving and going to a friend’s house. I can’t deal with you right now.” How do you feel? If you answered shaky, nervous, abandoned, panicky, or inconsolable, you might be anxiously attached. Attachment styles are the framework of how we relate to being close to and dependent on someone. Usually, we learn how to attach to our loved ones from our primary caregivers when we were children.  Our attachment style is also related to how [...]

Are You Anxiously Attached? Here’s How to Find Out 2018-04-01T02:25:21+00:00

Assuming The Best Of Your Partner

2018-02-28T07:23:46+00:00

When your partner is really making you angry, do you assume that they’re doing it because they’re trying to piss you off? Or assume that they don’t care, or that they’re just mean, or lazy? You’re not alone. Many of the couples that I work with have a tendency to assume the worst about their partner. For example, when their partner is running late, the immediate assumption is something like, “They don’t care about me, that’s why.” Sometimes people jump to, “She never thinks about my feelings,” or, “He just can’t prioritize me.” I hate to break it to you -- [...]

Assuming The Best Of Your Partner 2018-02-28T07:23:46+00:00

Why Taking Space Isn’t the Only Option For Cooling Off During a Fight

2017-10-18T01:36:14+00:00

Many couples think that the best way to get through a conflict is to take space from each other to cool off. Unfortunately, taking space isn’t always an option. There are times when you need to make a quick decision, you’re stuck in the car together, or you are at an event where you can’t take space and staying connected is preferable. The couples in my practice don’t often realize that the words they use with each other are magical. Just as words can aggravate and disconnect you from your partner, they can also calm an angry partner and help them [...]

Why Taking Space Isn’t the Only Option For Cooling Off During a Fight 2017-10-18T01:36:14+00:00

It’s Not About the Content

2017-10-18T01:52:32+00:00

Content versus connection Oftentimes when I’m working with clients, their central concern is a desire to discuss issues about work, money, children, or their sex life: aka content What couples often don't understand is that it is very difficult to talk about any kind of content if you are not connected to each other. Trying to talk about important issues while you’re feeling defended or angry leads to fighting, and the content gets lost. The trick to getting through content together is managing the connection you have with your partner. As soon as you realize that you are disconnecting, try to [...]

It’s Not About the Content 2017-10-18T01:52:32+00:00

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